The John Robins Vibemail - Issue #6
Hello dear friend! How saileth thee? I do hope waters are calm and that the view from your shores stretches far into the bright blue beyond?
I am sat writing this Vibemail accompanied by the sound of my EcoAir DC 12 dehumidifier drying my socks and pants. As it's too wet outside for the drying of clothes, I've set them before the arid gusts emanating from the DC 12 and hope to have swerved the bane of any airdryer's life, the musty pant.
It is raining outside at long last, the #WeekOfHeat now hopefully over. There is a distinct difference in vibe between the heatwaves of now and the heatwaves of my youth. In the 1980s and 90s it was a kind of spectacle, for many a treat, but now the front pages showing people splashing in fountains feel somewhat feeble distractions from the fact extreme heat is going to get worse and worse and worse until the roads melt and our gardens catch fire. Don't worry, I'm not about to lecture you on turning off your fairy lights or not using Nespresso pods, I just cannot get over the fact that it was FORTY NINE DEGREES IN CANADA. The record low for that Province is MINUS FIFTY NINE DEGREES. Imagine having experienced a temperature range of over one hundred degrees in a lifetime! Mad isn't it?
The rain really is belting down and it brings to mind a poem that The Lovely Robin sent my way, it's by Raymond Carver, one of the great American writers. It's called 'Rain'
Woke up this morning with
a terrific urge to lie in bed all day
and read. Fought against it for a minute.
Then looked out the window at the rain.
And gave over. Put myself entirely
in the keep of this rainy morning.
Would I live my life over again?
Make the same unforgivable mistakes?
Yes, given half a chance. Yes.
High hands and double deffos from me there. I'd strongly recommend his collected poems released in a volume called All Of Us and also his collected stories.
So, that's weather and poetry out of the way...Onwards!
Members Present
The Good Sir Lord Sir Dame Sir Captain Sir John Robins In Excelsis
Present!
Apologies
Elis sends his starkest apologies. He has begun work on The Socially Distanced Socially Distanced Sports Bar, a podcast where he and Des Lynam travel the country playing old episodes of The Socially Distanced Sports Bar to crowds of away fans at different football stadiums each week. This week 400 Yeovil Town supporters travel to Pride Park to listen to Episode Twelve.
The Moon Under Water Live
We are now able, finally, to invite you to live recordings of The Moon Under Water! They are taking place on various Sundays in August and September at The George IV pub in Chiswick. Tickets are all £15 and are available here
https://www.eventbrite.co.uk/o/the-moon-under-water-29934312603
As we had to accommodate for various lockdown scenarios, tickets are available either individually or on tables for households. So a booth that seats four is £60, a table for two £30 and so on. Individual tickets are available for rowed seating. Top tier Moon Under Water Patrons get advance access to tickets so, in future, if you'd like to have first dibs on those sweet sweet booths you can support us here
https://www.patreon.com/moonunderpod
It really is a lovely space, separate from the main pub, and West London stand-up fans may know it as the venue for Headliners Comedy Club. As these shows are taking place on a Sunday night the show will start at 6.30pm and finish sometime between 8-8.30pm to allow you ample time to relieve babysitters, get home on public transport and turn up for work bright and breezy the next day. See you there!
I do hope you've been enjoying The Moon Under Water, a podcast where I and The Lovely Robin invite a guest to create their perfect pub. This weeks episode features award-winning TV writer Lisa Holdsworth, and next week...well, let's just say you might want to tune in to hear the truth about the invention of the time check. A little easter egg for Retro Oners, and a genuine honour for me.
RIP FABIA
Those who listen to the 5Live show or follow me on social media will know that this week saw one less Skoda Fabia on the roads. And it was no ordinary Skoda Fabia. It was 185,637 miles of motoring excellence, and, as numerous people pointed out on instagram, a really unacceptable amount of dust on the steering column and dashboard.
It's strange how emotive saying goodbye to an old car can be. And after reflecting on all the good times we've had, I just about managed to keep it together at it's destination.
"What was the destination John? The V&A? A viking burial? The High Mileage Hall Of Fame?"
"Well, were I to tell you you would have to promise not to alert the tabloids..."
"I promise!"
"OK then...it was...A KIA DEALERSHIP!"
"No!"
"Yes!"
"John you're effing with me"
"I'm not"
"I really hate it when people eff with me John and I'm feeling pretty effed with right now"
[makes trustworthy face]
"HOLY ESS!"
That's right folks, the dream has become a reality. The only way to truly dry the tears of Skoda loss, was with Kia gain, and I have to say, it feels goooooood / really confusing to work out what all the buttons do. For someone who hasn't had access to electric windows since 2011, I'm sure you can imagine the culture shock of 'lane assist'.
But I shall say no more, expect some fun content on today's show with Elis.
A Lovely Robin and Any Other Business
You've often heard me speak of The Lovely Robin, but I've recently made friends with another lovely robin (a robin). He flew onto my fence when I popped outside a few weeks ago and I was surprised that he let me walk past without fluttering off in the way birds do. (I know it's a survival instinct but I do wish there was a way of saying to animals "You're OK! I'm not going to hurt you! I'll give you a nice stroke and some food!")
Anyway I went and got him some seeds and then every morning and evening since then he's appeared at my back door awaiting his meals. Over time, by being very still, and positioning sunflower hearts in strategic locations he started to come closer and then eventually hopped onto my hand and ate seeds from it! I can't tell you how happy this made me! I could hear baby robins chirping for food from a nearby nest, and he would dart off with seeds to give them.
He hasn't been back for a couple of days, so either his work in providing for the young robins is over, or he found a new source of food after I spent a few days away from home. Either way, I would like to thank a lovely robin for flying into my world for a brief few days. If I know me, and I think I do, I'll remember that robin for a long time.
Some pigeons have started trying to do the same thing but they can fuck off.
Right, there's not much more to tell. Irons currently in fires will hopefully come out red hot and you will be the first to know. I do have a couple of bona fide Robins Recs (Robins Recommendations) of things I watched recently. They are
Aunty Donna's Big Ol' House Of Fun (Netflix) - really silly Australian sketch show
I Think you Should Leave With Tim Robinson (Netflix) - really funny American sketch show
Schmigadoon! (Apple TV) delightful comedy set in a fantasy musical world
The Terror (iPlayer) - spooky and pretty grisly drama about early arctic exploration
Right then, must dash, I'm off to interview Brian May.
DAMN STRAIGHT!
There are many ways to measure success, some count their millions, others embrace their loving family or browse photos of past holidays with a contented smile. I, however, measure it solely by how many times I've interviewed Brian May, and by EOP today I will have interviewed him four times. A job well done.