The John Robins Vibemail - Issue #31
Current Mood: Publication Revelation
Now then. NOW THEN. Before continuing I suggest you HOLD ON TO YOUR HAT, and, if you’re not wearing a hat then PUT ON A HAT and grab that bad boy for DEAR LIFE…
Members Present
His Royal Highness, Crown Prince and Shah to the Westerlands, The Right Sir Venerable Sir Lord Sir Dame Sir Captain Sir Johnny JR MP
Present!
THIRST
Over the past two years you may have heard me make veiled references to a book I am writing. I am delighted, relieved and absolutely fucking terrified to tell you that this book is now finished. And by “finished” I mean I read through it for the twenty first time and had to stop fiddling with it lest it never cease in its being fiddled with and remain forever as a digital stone gathering punctuation moss on my hard drive.
The book is called Thirst: Twelve Drinks That Changed My Life
Forgive me if I take this opportunity to briefly say what the book is, in the hope of seeing off bemused one-star givers and reddit thread naysayers before they part with their hard earned cash chasing a 95,000 word rollercoaster they were millimetres too short to ride.
Thirst is a book about alcohol, me and alcohol and me. If you are not hugely fussed by me, alcohol, or how I and alcohol have interacted over the years I would give it a swerve. If you are looking for a deep dive into the world of Elis and John then that book does exist and I think you will get a lot out of it! It’s called The Holy Vible and is, now that I’ve googled it, out of print (but available second hand.)
Caveat dispensed with here are some things it is about…
Friendship, memory, comedy, crying on the toilet (twice), childhood, the unquenchable thirst for father figures, shame, social media, poetry, pubs, fantasy, wanting to die, not wanting to die, therapy, The Great Gatsby, sobriety, rum, how Jon Richardson’s cooking ruined my life, scouts, Pulp, anxiety, Buddhism and haemorrhoids.
There is even a footnote about the time I threw up in Noel Edmonds’ toilet.
WHAT’S NOT TO LIKE?!
If any of those float your boat then hoist the jibbard to the swainside and set thy scopes to windward! Avast!
It’s not out for a fair old while but, ever the detailsman, pre-ordering is a huge help with various publishing milestones from having it rotated ninety degrees on the shelves in Waterstones (#FrontFacing) to scaling Richard Osman like peaks of global domination.
So if you like the sound of the book, and like the sound of me, then you can pre-order it using one of the links below. I am reliably informed that on Amazon there are mechanisms by which, if it changes price at all over the coming weeks, then you are guaranteed the lowest price by pre-ordering.
If Amazon isn’t your bag there are links to outlets with a broad spectrum of ethical approaches here
https://www.penguin.co.uk/books/465247/thirst-by-robins-john/9780241740040
And if you would like to guarantee a SIGNED COPY you can head to Waterstones here
https://www.waterstones.com/book/thirst/john-robins/2928377356323
I think these Vibemails are a good measure of its tone, if you have enjoyed reading them, then I think there are passages in Thirst which you’ll get a lot out of. And I think I’m willing to edge close enough to my own trumpet to say that there are chapters of Thirst where I feel I’ve been able to express exactly what I wanted to say, in exactly the way I wanted to say it. And you can’t ask more than that!
Do you want to see the cover?
OK!
There I am! A very early photoshoot. And I hope the book goes some way to matching both the ludicrous and troubling elements of that image.
It is funny by the way, and serious in places, and sad in others, and then funny again. Because I love you all so much and VALUE YOU as subscribers to The Vibemail, I will give you a little snippet from the introduction
What you are about to read are my memories, told through twelve drinks. Memories are imperfect documents, they are the stories we tell ourselves, a friend describing a photograph they saw in a dream. So trust them at your peril. And alcohol is an untrustworthy voice to narrate them. Alcohol is a Zelig, a mesmerist, a master in the art of telling you what you want to hear. So this is the story I tell myself, told to you. These twelve drinks speak for countless tens of thousands of drinks I have drunk in my life, and through them, and some alcohol-related interludes along the way, I am trying to discover what alcohol means. And alcohol means a lot. Why did it mean more to me than other people? Why did it mean I felt better? Why did it mean so many things went wrong? This is the story of what alcohol did for me, and what alcohol did to me.
On reflection that’s not the most GIGGLE-PACKED section I could have shared, but it’s not a bad description of what the book is about. So there you go. In sharing it with you my relationship with it ends, and yours begins. I do hope you find it interesting, funny and useful.
Should you wish to step into more banter-based waters then Elis and I begin our tour on Wednesday 3rd Sept this very week! And tickets to some dates are still available here.
Holds are released each day for sold out shows so it’s worth giving the site a check if your nearest venue is sold out.
Robins Recs
I’m a Robins and I have recs! If you want to keep track of the songs I have liked then you can follow my playlist ‘Songs I Have Liked’ on Spotify (@john_robins)
Nathan Salsburg: Incredible acoustic guitarist. The first track off his new album Ipsa Corpora is absolutely out of this world. I have liked everything of his I have heard so far.
Okonski: Dreamy jazz / classical trio. The albums Entrance Music and Magnolia have been on heavy rotation during writing and crosswording.
If you want to listen to the two saddest songs released this year then look no further than Poor Creature’s cover of ‘Lorene’ and Cass McCombs’ ‘I Never Dream About Trains’. Absolute blub-fests!
Sam Evian: Premium is an amazing album from 2016. The song ‘Big Car’ is one of my finds of the year and the guitar solo reminds me of the one at the end of Cass McCombs’ ‘Sleeping Volcanoes’ and then I googled him and found out he was the engineer on that Cass McCombs album!
Sven Wunder: It’s hard to really describe this chap but the songs I like the most take Eastern European / Arabic scales and melodies and turn them into HEFTY PROG BANGERS. The albums Wabi Sabi and Eastern Flowers are good places to start. And then his album Late Again is the most perfect late night jazz. Aren’t some people CLEVER!
If you want to explore the ZamRock genre I mentioned on the show then there’s a great compilation of WITCH called We Intend To Cause Havoc and their new album SOGOLO is mind-blowing. Blackfoot have a song called ‘When It’s All Right’ which is like The Velvet Underground meets The Rolling Stones but from Zambia in 1976. (Not to be confused with the southern American rock band of the same name for whom I cannot vouch.) This algorithm wormhole also lead me to Mdou Moctar, a Nigerian guitarist who is kind of like if Jimi Hendrix had sung in Tamasheq in Black Sabbath in the west coast of Africa. A SPICY COMBO.
That’s enough for now…
LOVE YOU BYE!




Hi John.
I preordered your book.
I hope it makes you rich.
But not rich enough to retire.
X
Stole your front cover picture for the PCD group. Hope that’s ok? Your book is SIGNIFICANT!!
❤️
I’m 140 days AF & it all started at Dancing With Dave in Manchester. I fell off the wagon after losing my dog & couldn’t seem to stop. My pilgrimage was *DWD & watching you all DJ! Never looked back 🥰 Great news on the book …can’t wait!
You absolute legend! ❤️🫶❤️🫶❤️🫶 Can’t wait to see you all in Llandudno 🏴
✅ Pre-ordered
*All my friends? (But DWD has stuck!) 🤣