The John Robins Vibemail - Issue #22

Current Mood: Silent But Violent

Members Present

His Royal Eminence The Grand High Poobah Squire Sir John Robins KBE

Present!

An Apology Of Sorts

Hey folks! It's me! Your old pal!

Now then, it's been a stonking seven months since I last harrumphed at having to take my shoes off at the door of your digital inbox. When I set up this mailing list there were high words spoken about “emailing” “you” “every” “month”. It would now seem that this decent, upstanding intention, falls dead centre into the realm of “all talk and no trousers”. And what a realm it is! Me and the all other guys chattering away with our twig and berries flapping around as they are buffeted by the Etesian* winds.

*great scrabble word if you wanna bag fifty bonus points from your rack of AEEINST

Please forgive the lack of contact. It has been a tricky year, with episodes of both physical and mental ill-health stifling the previously UNSTOPPABLE ROBINS CONTENT MACHINE. Having recovered the heady physical trio of knee, bum and toe to match-fitness I thought it was just the old bonce left to tackle. Oh Icarus! Long story short, if you return from five days of meditating on a cushion don't celebrate by trying to set a five rep max back squat PB. Because when you are hoovering up wasps in your attic the following morning your back will go. Bye bye back!

Bonce-wise, I really must shake the idea that just because I haven't had a drink in a while doesn't mean everything is going to fall into place and see me wake up in one of those adverts for sober initiatives where everyone's on a beach drinking kombucha, caught by the camera swinging their arms and smiling about how great their skin and sleep is.

Despite improvements to both skin and sleep that has not been my story. Having removed a coping mechanism of some twenty odd years I find navigating my emotional landscape somewhat difficult. Indeed it can be baffling, alarming, dispiriting and downright awful at times. And not just for me, but for others around me too. However, despite the numerous criticisms and inventive swear words I can and do fling at myself* I haven't given up TRYING. I have kept going.

*mainly “Dick Doctor”

Silence!

Thank you for all the kind and unexpected comments filling up the old Delta Mike's following the episode of the show with Elis where we chatted about the silent retreat I went on. I won't wang on about it here as I'm still gathering my thoughts (exactly what we were taught not to do!) After a post-retreat glow of approx 52 hours which Elis and I captured on audio for future generations I thudded back down to earth with all the Zen detachment of a chest freezer falling down a well. However, doubtless yet more tales of date syrup and guffs will feature in future projects.

That said, I would recommend trying the old phone off trick. Buy yourself a cheap alarm clock to have by the bed and actually switch your phone off before you go to sleep, then set a time you won't switch it on before upon waking. Even giving yourself twenty minutes after you get up to give some attention to your cup of tea / tooth brushing / skin care / make up / Fruit 'n' Fibre can be a form of mindfulness and have a profound impact on your day. Our minds spend enough time trying to rip us from the present moment and into yesterday, tomorrow, this afternoon. I’ve realised how adding my phone into that mix means it’s game over for good old NOW. You could even DO THE DOUBLE by implementing the same regime half an hour before bed. You do you.

Howl Audio Release

After months of not being able to bear listening to the sound of my own voice I have taken on the task of preparing Howl for release. After a lot of pacing and pausing, cringing and cursing and vaping the audio should be good to go for the next #BandcampFriday, which begins at 8am on 6^th September.

I could, and won’t, blather on about the frustrations of such a process, including the dreaded double vocal stumble on a key line, mic bleed and the tribulations of removing irrelevant audience banter when the performer HASN’T LEFT A BIG ENOUGH PAUSE BETWEEN ASKING ‘JAY’ WHY SHE WAS LATE TAKING HER SEAT AND BEGINNING ONE OF THE KEY COMEDIC PERFORMANCES OF OUR GENERATION. But I’m sure you can imagine the kind of lighthearted back and forth between me and my long-suffering editing expert The Lovely Robin. Thank the lord for TLR that’s what I say!

The show will be £10 to purchase online or £20 as part of a collection of all my online shows. Please set your alarms for the 6th Sept as ten per cent of all sales made that day will go to the fantastic charity Standing Together Against Domestic Abuse. So do a guy a solid and whack it in the old Golf Charlie, AKA G-Cal, AKA Google Calendar.

I will also be emailing you on that morning to remind you. Of that you can have no doubt!

Book

I am writing a book. It is about alcohol. It’s due out quite a long time away. More to follow…

Goodbye

Goodbye x